Dear Bully

Dear Bully,

Hi there, buddy.

I bet you don't remember me. Even if you do, I think I might be in the untouched, untapped holes of your mind.

But I?

I remember you very well.

I remember the first time we met, back in fourth grade. At first, I thought you were nice but later?

As the days flew by, I realised that I wasn't even worthy of being your Holiness's "acquaintance". The way you hurled your cutting words at me, the way your nose curled in disgust when you saw me and the way you made sure that I ended up crying my eyes out made it clear that I was a horrible insect that deserved to be stomped out of your way.

All those days, I remember distinctly, I found myself wondering as to why you hated me. I remember, I was being myself and it wasn't like I was hurting you on purpose or anything.

Let me be honest with you, my dear bully. I was hurt. Beyond hurt.

I won't go ahead and say that I was the bubbliest and the most cherubic child. But I won't deny that I could get along with people, despite the fact that I had to shuttle between three different cultures most of my childhood.

Yet, to you, I seemed like a despicable object.

I still remember the time when I was saying something excitedly during recess, you just went: "HOW DARE YOU SPIT ON MY LUNCH?" in front of everybody.

Of course, you felt like a snooty celebrity back then, especially because some started laughing.

But I? I felt like cow shit, a waste of space.

Then, as we grew older, I saw how you treated me dismissively. I saw how you had saved the best, most creative insults you could come up with for me. I saw how you enjoyed the sadistic pleasure as you fed more of your taunts to my growing insecurities.

I remember distinctly, how you cruelly isolated me from the class magazine editing in eighth grade, although we both were selected as the editors. I remember how you literally dismissed my review on "Veronica Decides To  Die" just because in the book, Veronica played piano naked. Oh, and you said that my handwriting was shitty.

(A fact, I don't think I mentioned in my review)

I know, bringing back all these stupid things in the past, won't change them, won't make your treatment towards me better.

Yet, I feel this —

I don't want to accuse you of being horrible towards me like I would have, three years ago (when I was a hurt, scorned, horribly insecure 15 year old)

I don't want to pick up a fight with you, because you know what? You're, honest to God, not worth it.

What I want to do is to thank you.

Thank you for making me realize a lot of things.

Thank you for making me far more thick-skinned than I was before. Thank you for making me understand the importance for fighting for my rights as a human being. Thank you, most importantly, for impacting my childhood in such a way that I only emerged stronger and I didn't resort to something drastic, like committing suicide.

Additionally, thank you for making me realize that I'm not everybody's favourite so early in my life and thank you for pointing out my flaws, which made me work harder on them and made me a better person.

We are eighteen years old and I am in a good place now. I think I'm doing okay enough academically and I am passionate about what I'm doing in my life. I have a family that I love and loves me back. Most importantly, I have a really few set of close friends who I am very, very attached to.

I'm very sure that you're in a great place too, and I wish you the very best in life. Offer your best in the world and be the best version of you.

(No, I don't mean the best bully version. But the best obedient student version of you)

Yet, I wish the most that nobody else — not even my worst enemy or your future children (or even you yourself for that matter) — gets a bully like you because your (to put it kindly) harshness and the horrors that I went through within my mind are things which NOBODY DESERVES TO ENDURE.

So don't think that I'm trying to suck you up. I have moved on from what happened in the past, but I will never ever ever forget it.

I know, a lot of this may sound childish but this is my current frame of mind and I have no ill-feelings towards you.

In fact, I have no feelings at all.

Dear bully, please be a good human and please, for God's sake, teach your children to be better, nicer individuals so they don't end up horrifically bullying a kid in the future.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year! Have a great, not-at-all-being-a-bully life!

Love,

Me.

Comments

  1. I love this. There is anger, yes, but the real thing is that shines through is your pride, your success in having gotten over a long-time bully. A lot of your letter I could relate to. Like you, I'm in a better place now (at 17 years old) than I was a few years ago. I guess bullies mature eventually, right? Or maybe it was us that learned to grow thicker skin, as you said. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. Some bullies mature but some don't. I don't know where mine is, but I wish her well!
      I'm glad you could relate to it, Jo! :D
      Stay awesome as ever,
      Much love,
      Archie <3

      Delete
  2. I think it's good to write out vents against people who have treated you this way, because what happened will never change and sometimes the person won't change either, which is just how life works, but at least you've got closure.

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, M! It does feel a lot better to vent out and it does give you closure!
      Happy New Year!
      Stay awesome as ever,
      Much love,
      Archie <3

      Delete

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