Sunday, September 4, 2016

An Open Letter To All The "Lonely" People Out There

Hi there. 

I see no purpose in beginning this letter with niceties because I know what you're going to say: 

You're going to begin by saying how nobody in your family understands you. Then, you're going to move onto your friends and moan about how they don't "get you needs". After which, you're going to end with a note that you have no real friends and you're just a poor, poor lonely soul. 

But, my darling friend, have you ever bothered to consider that you might be the problem? 

Oh, now don't start with the theatrics and hear me out, will you? 

I like to believe that there are two types of lonely people - lonely people by circumstances and lonely people by their own behaviour and outlook

Lonely people by circumstances are those who try hard to mingle with others but are scornfully ignored. 

Lonely people by their own behaviour, on the other hand, are those who have everything - a rock solid family, an amazing group of friends and are materialistically secure. But they are dissatisfied with the fact that their social circuit isn't functioning as per the way they want them to function. 

Which means, you, my dear friend, fall into the second category. 

I don't know how you began being this self-made lonely person but having seen some of my peers like you closely, I have come to a realization that initially, you started off as a lonely person by circumstances. 

But unlike the other lonely people by circumstances, you decided to keep the same old outlook of yours. You chose to keep your problems about your adamant family members to yourself. You chose to chase after the same people who ruthlessly shunned you. As a result of which, you ended up becoming a laughing stock. 

You did not choose to discuss your problems with your family members in a mature light. You did not choose to change your friend circle or change your perspective on the kind of friends you wanted.

You only chose to have that fixed thought: "My family doesn't understand me at all. I don't like these friends of mine because they never sought me out first." 

If that's not downright stupid, I don't know what is. 

And then, when the other, so-called popular people ignore you, you end up crying about your life and how miserable it is and end up blaming everyone (from your family to your friends to your God)

Excuse me! You don't have the right to blame others for the miserable situation you put yourself into! It's ultimately your fault that you shunned the ones who actually cared about you and ran like a pathetic rat after people who didn't give a damn. It's your fault that you refused to change your mindset or behaviour and remained static. It's YOUR FAULT THAT YOU CHOSE THIS LONELY LIFE!  

Now, I know you're going to respond with a haughty: "Why should I change my mindset? Weren't you the one who always said, 'Embrace your individuality'?" 

Well, here's my answer for that: 

When I say 'embrace your individuality', I mean to say 'Embrace the good things about yourself'. I don't mean to say, keep a narrow-minded, popularity-lusting mindset, get hurt as a result of it and blame others. And I most certainly did not say to keep your bad personality attributes intact! 

We are all flawed individuals. There are certain flaws, like the flaws in our looks and the flaws of our surroundings, which we can do little to change. But the flaws we have in our personality - the flaws which can only hamper our mental well being and the well-being of others - are the ones that we need to work out on. 

I know it's not easy to work out on the issues you have, my friend, but taking the first steps towards a positive change in your personality and thinking that makes all the difference. 

So talk to your family members. Let them know calmly about what you like and you don't like. Listen to them patiently as they list out their side of the story. Then, talk to all those friends of yours, who you initially thought weren't good enough for you. Shower them with the same amount of love that they gave you. 

Most importantly, let go of your oh-so-esteemed standards about the person you are going to consider as your dearest confidant. Unfortunately for you, people aren't made in the way you want them to function. If you really are desperate for a friend who fits your ideals perfectly, then I'd suggest you make a robot, instead of criticizing the ones around you. 

But a mechanical robot too, would get boring after a point of time, wouldn't it?

Mon ami, if you continue to keep your high-and-mighty thoughts about your ideal kind of people, then you're going to be lonely your entire life. And no one, but yourself, is the one to be blamed. 

With this, I bid you adieu. 

Good bye. I hope you become a better person. 

Love,

Archie 

***

Hi there, dear reader. 

So, the idea for this post came up as a result of my two mad, adorkable best friends - Butter and Fraud, with whom I've spoken at length about loneliness and people who are lonely as a result of their own behaviour. 

With this post, I did not mean to purposefully HURT people for being lonely. My only point was to make some people realize that they are lonely because THEY are the ones who are the root causes of their loneliness and not someone else. 

Well, I think I've said enough for now.

Stay awesome as ever, 

Much love,

Archie <3

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