A Bundle Of Contradictions

"You really want to buy another one of those? Again?" My mother asks, her normally serene voice laced with a tinge of irritation. 
I nod eagerly, my face lighting up like a Christmas tree. My hands are tightly clutching the new bundle of joy, ready to be explored and (later) smelled. My mind's already wandering, imagining the exciting adventures I'll embark on with this. 
"You have too many books already, Ammu!" She snaps irritably, breaking me out of my reverie. "Plus, your cupboard is full already! You still haven't read those classics! Are you really, really keen on buying this?!"
She expects me to take a deep breath and place the book back on the store's shelf. She expects me to say, "Oh Mamma, you're right. You're absolutely right. How could I be so fiscally irresponsible? I promise that from now on, I'll be a perfect child and donate the rest of my collection to my various cousins scattered over the country."
B…

One, two, three, The verdict's out, And you are free, From the anticipation of anxiety;
But it's not what you'd hoped, And you're now left to cope - With a loss, Of the greatest magnitude;
At first, you see not the pitying stares, You hear not the words of comfort; You only feel, Absolute emptiness; 
After a while, The reality sinks in, You - who had the most radiant of smiles - Finally break down and cry;
You despair,  Over how miserably you've fared;  You blame the entire universe - For conspiring against you; 
Then your mind begins to feed, You with fierce, formidable fears, Of not being able to succeed, In the task you just miserably failed in; 
Then a while later, You realize, That time is a prize, A treasure not intended to be wasted, On wasted tears, Or irrational fears;
Slowly, you rise, Shakily at first, Then growing firmer, As you take the next steps;
Then, without looking back, You give your all - Hard work, passion and grit, To see that you finally get…

Pehli baar ek hi baar aata hai! (The 'first time' experience comes only once in your life) - Amitabh Bachchan in English Vinglish The first thing that would come to your mind is: 
Why is Archie (who's been a very tardy blogger lately) beginning this blog post with a very oh-so-filmy quote? 
Well, it's because I (finally) got a chance to go to Germany for a radio project after endless days of dreaming, wishing, hoping and despairing.


Which is also why I haven't been a very regular updater of this blog. 
Also there's the fact that I've been very tardy and I feel like the content I'm coming up is shit.
Never mind that. 
The thing is, after I'd posted last, I got busy with the tickets, visa appointments and the entire packing frenzy. 
Every single day went from the constant messages with "Congratulations, dear! I'm so proud of you!" to the even more regular drilling of "It's going to be very cold in Germany, you have to wear really…

STATUTORY WARNING: I KNOW I AM NO EXPERT IN PSYCHOLOGY OR THE FACT THAT I AM NOT A DICTATOR WHOSE RULES PEOPLE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FOLLOW. 

BUT AS I AM A HUMAN BEING WITH COMMON SENSE, I THOUGHT I'D BETTER WRITE THIS POST, SO THAT THE INDIVIDUALS OF MY FELLOW GENDER DO NOT DO SUCH DUMB THINGS. 

Well then, that's settled.

Hello, dear reader! It's been quite some time, eh?

But now, I am back with my neurotic rambling!

It has come to my attention, that a lot of girls have a tendency to behave a bit...

How do we put this gently?

Stupid.

Now, don't get me wrong. Don't you go ahead and accuse me, "Oh Archie, how dare you! It's so anti-feministic of you to criticize girls! Girls are not stupid, okay?"

To which, I will reply: Dear reader, I am not bashing girls or suddenly transforming into a misogynist. All I'm trying to do is a post to warn my fellow gender's beings to NOT TO DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS. 

So, without further ado, allow me to enlist the …

Dear Bully,

Hi there, buddy.

I bet you don't remember me. Even if you do, I think I might be in the untouched, untapped holes of your mind.

But I?

I remember you very well.

I remember the first time we met, back in fourth grade. At first, I thought you were nice but later?

As the days flew by, I realised that I wasn't even worthy of being your Holiness's "acquaintance". The way you hurled your cutting words at me, the way your nose curled in disgust when you saw me and the way you made sure that I ended up crying my eyes out made it clear that I was a horrible insect that deserved to be stomped out of your way.

All those days, I remember distinctly, I found myself wondering as to why you hated me. I remember, I was being myself and it wasn't like I was hurting you on purpose or anything.

Let me be honest with you, my dear bully. I was hurt. Beyond hurt.

I won't go ahead and say that I was the bubbliest and the most cherubic child. But I won't deny th…

I have a question for you, darling reader: what's the worst thing in this world?

Nope. It's not corrupt government officials. It's not riots or wars or any other forms of violence. It's definitely not malnourished children barely scraping by in third world countries. 
Turns out, the worst thing in this world is - gasp! - gaining weight. 
Nope. I'm not kidding. 
Gaining weight is not good, according to the societal norms. Once you gain weight, you look like you've been having food that you actually like, you look like your health is stable and it seems like you're actually comfortable in your (horrendously flabby!) skin. 
And, my dears, we don't want that, do we? 
We live in a world where stick-thin people - who refuse to eat food which they are lucky they can have - are idolized. We live in a world where people who are healthy are considered as some sort of hideous balls who don't deserve to be within our presence. 
So, as a concerned blogger, I wo…

Have you ever thought about what type of personality you've ever had? Have you ever clicked on online lists 'see if you're a somber introvert or a wild extrovert'? Most importantly, have you ever felt confused when you saw those lists and discovered that you related to both the aspects? 
Since a very long time, I've been struggling to define what I really am. Some people say I'm very talkative, while the others say that I'm rather quiet. Sometimes, I feel like chatting nineteen to the dozens and there are times when I feel like I'm best left alone. 
Strange, isn't it? 
Thus, the other day, I got an idea, why don't I ask people their definitions of what it means to be an introvert/extrovert? 
So, I ended up asking a couple of people. Then, I decided I'll categorize their answers, list them down here and try to come to my own conclusions about it. So here, I've compiled a segregated list of all the types I've discovered so far. I hope…

I see you,
Feeling completely sad,
Overthinking about the day,
That went too bad;
I see you,
Snapping at your near and dear ones,
Breaking things around you,
Wreaking havoc all around;
I think you should stop,
Being so sad, so tearful, so morose;
Don’t have anger or remorse,
Towards the day that flew in the past;
I think you should leave,  Your self-belittling thoughts for a while;  I think you should,
Curve your lips into a smile;
Smiling is a treasure,
Which costs absolutely nothing,
The delight, the happiness it gives you,
Is way beyond measure;
So stop crying over what’s gone,
Keep negativity away from you for a long while,
Because, darling, you do look really lovely,
When you curve your lips into a bright, bright smile; 
***
On the eve of my eighteenth birthday, I've pledged to start taking genuine efforts to make people smile. There is too much depression and too much sadness around. I think everyone deserves to show their pearly/yellowy/chippy/no-matter-how-else…