A Bundle Of Contradictions

Today's one of those days, When you've forgotten everything, That you'd memorized all night long,
You're worried that everything would go wrong; 
Today's one of those days,
When you'd rather stay in a cage,
With a poisonous, ominous snake,  Than stand in front of dozens on a stage;
Around you, are people lounging about,
As cool as cucumbers,
And here you are - Crippled with fear, struggling to remember; 
A shaky breath you take,
Pursue your lips, toss you hair,
Trying so hard to fake,
That you're an undaunted winner;
But all that false bravado falls,
When you see the first contender,
Enters the podium,
Clears his throat and stands tall; 
And then anxiety slithers in back,
Like a poisonous python,
Wrapping around you,
Making your insides go slack;
You see the first contender talk,
With flamboyant gestures, incredible voice modulation;
Seeing the audience,
It's sure he's won the adulation; 
And then, here you are,
Still trying to calm down,
Your thoughts running like a…

Pehli baar ek hi baar aata hai! (The 'first time' experience comes only once in your life) - Amitabh Bachchan in English Vinglish The first thing that would come to your mind is: 
Why is Archie (who's been a very tardy blogger lately) beginning this blog post with a very oh-so-filmy quote? 
Well, it's because I (finally) got a chance to go to Germany for a radio project after endless days of dreaming, wishing, hoping and despairing.


Which is also why I haven't been a very regular updater of this blog. 
Also there's the fact that I've been very tardy and I feel like the content I'm coming up is shit.
Never mind that. 
The thing is, after I'd posted last, I got busy with the tickets, visa appointments and the entire packing frenzy. 
Every single day went from the constant messages with "Congratulations, dear! I'm so proud of you!" to the even more regular drilling of "It's going to be very cold in Germany, you have to wear really…

I have a question for you, darling reader: what's the worst thing in this world?

Nope. It's not corrupt government officials. It's not riots or wars or any other forms of violence. It's definitely not malnourished children barely scraping by in third world countries. 
Turns out, the worst thing in this world is - gasp! - gaining weight. 
Nope. I'm not kidding. 
Gaining weight is not good, according to the societal norms. Once you gain weight, you look like you've been having food that you actually like, you look like your health is stable and it seems like you're actually comfortable in your (horrendously flabby!) skin. 
And, my dears, we don't want that, do we? 
We live in a world where stick-thin people - who refuse to eat food which they are lucky they can have - are idolized. We live in a world where people who are healthy are considered as some sort of hideous balls who don't deserve to be within our presence. 
So, as a concerned blogger, I wo…

Dear God (or any other superior being that presides over our lives),
Hi there.  I know, a lot of people out there doubt the fact that You exist. I know, a lot of people out there apparently know that You don't exist (because there's no 'scientific proof' or maybe because they want to sound cool because come on, haters are the 'new cool'.) But, after years of being confused and befuddled whether You're really there or not, I've realized that You are there. You are there within each and every one of us. You're there in the air, You're there in the water, You're there on the earth, You're everywhere. You are infinite and You don't have a typical form. You have a strong presence though, which always, always helps people to move forward. You help people, not directly or magically, but with your mere presence. You're Hope, You're the Light that people find in a dark abyss. You're the Giver of positivity and it's only up…

Languages - you love 'em, you loathe 'em but you can't live without 'em.  (You actually can't live without languages. Unless you're a silent movie actress or a miming artiste)
Let's face it, learning languages, perfecting pronunciations and fighting a gruesome war with the grammar can be extremely taxing. 
But somehow, readers, learning a new language is actually fun. I know what your reaction would be: Dear Archie, Were you dropped in your head when you were a toddler? We don't mean to be rude, but... ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE? HOW CAN YOU SAY LANGUAGES ARE FUN?!?! LANGUAGES ARE SO BORING! Much love, The readers who think you've lost your head. And my answer to that would be: Dear readers, No. I'm not insane. My parents actually had me tested when I was two. (But that was because I never spoke and people like my nursery teacher thought I was dumb and I suffered from Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) (But the doctor who tested me said that…