A Bundle Of Contradictions

I know. I know. I KNOW.

It's been more than a month since I've last posted. Some of you might be wondering where I might have vanished. 
Worry not, dear readers (or viewers) I'm back with my snarky, neurotic rambling. 
Things have been extremely hectic lately. I've been swamped, I tell you, with projects, internal assessments, fests and other stuff. I simply haven't had the time to sit in front of my computer desk and write. 
Okay, and I just found out that I have my semester end exams in a matter of mere thirty days.

Whoopie-doodle-doo.

But anyways, all of that is completely irrelevant.

What matters is this:

I'm turning eighteen. In almost two weeks' time.

Damn, it feels like merely few days when I was a skinny, ratty, scabby-kneed eight-year-old celebrating her birthday wearing a posh, frilly hat and a Zorro-esque mask!

So much has happened since then. I met so many people - so many new relatives, so many new friends and so many new people-I-don't-li…

The tragedy of this world is,
One cannot afford to miss,
The opportunity to be,
A normal human being; 
The world wants us to,  Conform to its norm;
The world wants us all to,
Ditch our uniqueness and stay uniform; 
But do you know,
What I really want to do?
Well, let me not waste any more verse,
And let me tell you: 
I want to,  Ditch the pretenses that I live in,  Abandon the fakeness that  I've got surrounded with,
Leave the toxicity,
Of this world; 
I want to,
Set my hair free,
And allow its locks to hit me,
As the strong wind blows;  
I want to,
Ditch my socks and sneakers,
Run barefoot as the cool dewdrop,
Of the grass tickles my heel; 
I want to,
Stop acting so klutzy and coy,
Scream my heart out in joy,
Because I'm a free, free bird; 
I want to,
Drop flat onto the grass,
Lay down there awhile,
Soaking in the peace; 
I want to,
Gaze at the surroundings for hours,
Committing the vibrant colours of life,
To my otherwise fickle memory; 
But the tragedy is,
None of this can ever happen;  Because nor…

I wrote this for my school magazine which has not been published so far. I hope this gets published in the magazine! :)  
Hope you all like it! xx 
It’s been many years,
Since I came here -
This lovely place,
That once was my childhood escape;
Bushes filled with roses,  Trees of maple lined in the perimeter,
Just to guard this heaven,
 From those who dared to destroy its peace;
I stroll along the sidewalk, Under the late afternoon sunlight,
Lost in my current worries,
When I hear –
A horde of children clad in uniforms,
Arrive from the floral entrance,
Chattering, laughing and jumping –
Not caring about the world;
I stop on my tracks,  And silently observe,
Some children,
Buy ice-creams from a local vendor;
I see some of them,  Rushing to the swings,
Climbing up the monkey bars,
Schoolbags tossed into a corner;
Some of them,  Pass by me,
Joking about school teachers,
And bursting into peals of laughter;
It’s been quite a while – Oh! Ages, actually! –
Since my lips have,
Curved into a…

I'm supposed to be studying for a test.

The competitive side within me is screaming out loud: Get your butt off that chair, right now! Or else you'll flunk! 
The procrastinating side is like, Pshhh! Whatever, as if anyone else's studying right now! 
The competitive side: STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
But here I am, listening to Tiffany Alvord's amazing cover of Wrecking Ball and blogging. I'm constantly licking my lips because they've dried up (curse you, winter). My grandmother's asleep in the other room and there's no one else in the house. 
As everyone knows it, Christmas is fast approaching. Every shop in the vicinity will be decorated, so will the houses. People will hang laurel wreaths outside their doors and bring Christmas trees. People will make cakes and gingerbread houses. Kids (like my seven-year-old cousin) will write letters to the nonexistent Santa Claus, begging him to bring new toy-cars and dolls. You'll hear annoying, though endeari…

I have written about maturity before.
However, that post was written about a year ago. My thoughts, emotions were different then. I was less sober, I talked without really processing the words that escaped from my mouth and I got hurt easily.  Now, as I reflect on the word 'maturity', I don't think it is acting like a grown up person. I think it's being an adult.  When you're at this stage where I am, you are neither a child nor a grown up. You are in between. Some people of my age go on acting like they are kids (like me, for instance) while there are others who start acting like they're stuck up and way too grown up. Last year, if you would've asked me whether one should have had a little childish streak, then I would've unhesitatingly answered yes. But now when you ask me the very same question, I'd say this:  Never lose touch with your childhood. As you grow, as you graduate to newer things, people and places, you can't simply act like a ki…

You knew you were in for a roller-coaster ride,
When I arrived by your side,
You knew you were going to face challenges,
Which were going to be much tougher than before,

Dear mom, I'll be stupid if I say 'I love you',
These three words aren't supposed to be said,
They're not to be fed
On a particular day called 'Mother's Day';

When I was little,
I would often fall down because I was oh so brittle,
You'd pick me up and say,
"Don't worry, baby. These scars will soon go away,"

Dear mom, I'll be stupid if I say, 'For you, I'll bring the greatest treasures,"
I'll be stupid if I say, 'I'll bestow you with the greatest pleasures,'
I'll be a nutcase if I say, 'I'll make you the happiest woman in the earth,'
I am, I assure you, the happiest child in this universe,
Because you're the woman who gave birth,
To me,

Dear mom, you're the one who bathed and nursed me,
Dear mom, you're the one…

I had a farewell in school in tenth grade. I wrote a poem as my speech. Unfortunately, I wasn't called.  Here it is. Hope you like it:


My words might not be emotional,
Nor will they be delusional,
My words are the ones that I want to speak,
From the very depths of my heart;

Ten years ago, I joined this place called school,
I knew no one, I knew nothing,
I was scared that I might be called a complete fool,
I was scared that I might not fit in;

But something miraculous happened,
I made many friends, who were with me when I felt down,
And there were many teachers,
Who were as good as my own parents;

We had loads and loads of fun,
Most times we played hard,
And when exams were approaching, we studied harder
We had taken part in many school events,
Some were successful, while the others weren’t;

When the school started on twenty-sixth of March last year,
I never thought that the fear,
Of leaving this school would come,
I only thought that it was just another year,
With loads of fun, meeting…