A Bundle Of Contradictions

Today's one of those days, When you've forgotten everything, That you'd memorized all night long,
You're worried that everything would go wrong; 
Today's one of those days,
When you'd rather stay in a cage,
With a poisonous, ominous snake,  Than stand in front of dozens on a stage;
Around you, are people lounging about,
As cool as cucumbers,
And here you are - Crippled with fear, struggling to remember; 
A shaky breath you take,
Pursue your lips, toss you hair,
Trying so hard to fake,
That you're an undaunted winner;
But all that false bravado falls,
When you see the first contender,
Enters the podium,
Clears his throat and stands tall; 
And then anxiety slithers in back,
Like a poisonous python,
Wrapping around you,
Making your insides go slack;
You see the first contender talk,
With flamboyant gestures, incredible voice modulation;
Seeing the audience,
It's sure he's won the adulation; 
And then, here you are,
Still trying to calm down,
Your thoughts running like a…

The tragedy of this world is,
One cannot afford to miss,
The opportunity to be,
A normal human being; 
The world wants us to,  Conform to its norm;
The world wants us all to,
Ditch our uniqueness and stay uniform; 
But do you know,
What I really want to do?
Well, let me not waste any more verse,
And let me tell you: 
I want to,  Ditch the pretenses that I live in,  Abandon the fakeness that  I've got surrounded with,
Leave the toxicity,
Of this world; 
I want to,
Set my hair free,
And allow its locks to hit me,
As the strong wind blows;  
I want to,
Ditch my socks and sneakers,
Run barefoot as the cool dewdrop,
Of the grass tickles my heel; 
I want to,
Stop acting so klutzy and coy,
Scream my heart out in joy,
Because I'm a free, free bird; 
I want to,
Drop flat onto the grass,
Lay down there awhile,
Soaking in the peace; 
I want to,
Gaze at the surroundings for hours,
Committing the vibrant colours of life,
To my otherwise fickle memory; 
But the tragedy is,
None of this can ever happen;  Because nor…

A few pointers before you start reading this:  a) It's a mixture of blank verse and your typical rhyming-schemed poem. b) It's highly unedited.  c) It's kinda based - sorry, totally based - on a true story. 
I remember a time,  Where there were a few,  I slavishly adored,  And one of them was you;
I was a silly little girl,  Searching for an idol,  And there you were -  Pretty, introverted and rib-ticklingly funny! 
I remember boasting,  About your greatness;  I remember toasting,  Your many a success; 
I was a little peacock,  Only not as wondrous looking;  And you were the rain,  Giving me pure, unadulterated joy! 
But days passed,  Faster than a ray of light; Seasons changed,  And unfortunately, so did you; 
You became more beautiful,  You became more confident,  You became more popular,  You became someone I didn't know; 
The last time I saw you,  You weren't the sweetheart that you used to be;  You weren't the person I used to worship, day and night;  Now…