A Bundle Of Contradictions

Your looks aren't angelic,
Yet, you seem happy, not tragic;
You're street-smart,
But not as brilliant as Einstein; 
There is nothing,
Particularly dark about you;
I see you wake up,
I see you live your life; 
But I do not see your demons,
Clawing your insides,
Nagging you to do things,
Which will harm you; 
The room's dark,  You're all alone,
Protected from the cold,
Unprotected from your inner monsters; 
They come one after the other,  Slowly growing  more vicious;
The sad part is,
You cannot stop them; 
First comes fear,  A cold feeling in your heart,  Colder than the weather; Your fear is rejection,
Rejection from your family,
Rejection from your peers; 
Second arrives jealousy,
The most satanic of your demons;
You start envying everyone,
Including the ones you love; 
Then, hatred seeps in,
A burning intense feeling,
Which makes you feel disgusted,
About everything in your life; 
But the worst isn't over yet;  The sadness that comes,
It cannot be stopped;
You start crying silently,
Tr…

No, I wasn't abducted by aliens. 
Nor was I whisked off to Hogwarts or Camp Half-Blood. 
(I wish that would have happened!) 
I'm too busy trying to know myself and adjusting in a new school (here, they call it 'junior college'. But for your sake - and mine - I wish to call it school!). I'm learning new stuff and the environment in my new school sucks. Everyone is so bloody competitive and you gotta work your butt off if you wish to be "at the top!"
Unfortunately, since I'd been in the same school for ten years, it was difficult to adjust to the new surroundings. None of my old school's friends were there and more than half the kids came from different boards of education. 
It was tough to adjust to the new curriculum and new people. The kids were so starkly different from the ones I'd hung out with at school. They were like, super-smart and being in the presence of such... such brilliant kids made me feel insecure. 
It wasn't just that. 
…